


The rest of the movie is just the three going around Europe to stop Papadopoulos. Jackson) and his wife Sonia ( Salma Hayek).įor some reason, Interpol agent Bobby O’Neill ( Frank Grillo), who is from Boston as we are constantly reminded, recruits the three to intercept the location of Papadopoulos’ target.

While this plan unfolds, through a rather bizarre set of events, disgraced bodyguard Michael Bryce ( Ryan Reynolds) is reunited with his old client/frenemy Darius Kincaid ( Samuel L. The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard’s plot is as convoluted as the title: a Greek billionaire, the ridiculously stereotypically named Aristotle Papadopoulos ( Antonio Banderas), wants to punish Europe for the EU’s sanctions on Greece by hacking the power grid to make things explode. Like a person terrified of an awkward silence who just keeps talking and talking to fill the void, Hughes does not let the movie ever take a second to breathe. But this short-lived, relatively still moment lasts less than a minute. At around the 52-minute mark, the film goes without dialogue, gunshots/explosions, or a car chase. Jackson (playing Darius Kincaid), who is nearly two decades her senior and looks at least three.It takes almost an hour for Patrick Hughes’ The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard to take a break. Salma Hayek as Sonia Kincaid is ignominiously paired with Samuel L. O’Connor also relies on flashbacks to explain nearly every aspect of the movie, patching plot holes on a constant basis that feels insulting to the viewer.”Įvery scene of this movie oozes male fantasy wish fulfillment.

Meanwhile, screenwriter Tom O’Connor says “at heart this is a redemption story for Michael Bryce.” But the thing is, Michael Bryce is a Grade-A asshole, so I could really give a flying fig about his “redemption.”Īs film critic Carl Kozlowski puts it, “ Bodyguard is annoying nearly from start to finish, completely defying all sense of internal logic. Dick jokes, ass fixations, and “motherfucker” bombs are dropped like they’re going extinct. No matter how much razzle dazzle director Patrick Hughes can slap onto this stinker, the entire film is a pointless exercise in prepubescent writing. The Hitman’s Bodyguard is unwatchable for two reasons: its smarmy lead Michael Bryce (Ryan Reynolds) and the show’s self-congratulatory tone.
